Crystal Tear
by Pikagirl
Summary: This is my crystal tear and as you gaze into it you notice Rei, Asuka and Shinji envolved in a tale of sorrow, love and hate. Read and discover things all held inside a tiny crystal tear.....P.s please review.


Crystal tears  
  
Ok so this isn't really a story but all my feelings of Evangelion in an err short story that holds no plot but poem like sentences. It's kind of a dream, based on one I've had put all inside one tiny crystal tear. That I'm holding out for you too look at, and as you stare quietly into this small master piece of fragile beauty you notice two figures crying, morning over another body….  
  
You marvel at a miniature Rei dressed in a funereal, jet-black dress that clung tight to her body. Her tears are staining its dark beauty as they mingled with the young boy next to her, Kaworu. He held Rei close to his dismal pitch-black suit that had the tint of mournful tears. They suffered in a sea of black dead roses, and ravens feathers gently drifted down around them.   
Rei's mourning lips and pouting face, laid against Kaworu's silent cheeks that fought back painful tears.  
Among their limp figures, naked and covered in the pitiful mort roses lays Shinji Ikari. His face is white and pale from the cold touch of death laid upon him, in cruel fate. His once strong body now wilted in the eyes of time as he sinks deeper into a pool of darkness.  
Rei's and Kaworu's tears fall heavily as he leaves them, they can't bear to see him leave for their feeling have been hidden away for so long they burn away at them like worms. Did they love him? They felt he had shown passion and they foolishly never returned it, leaving Shinji to perish in his loneliness.  
  
But Shinji isn't dead this is what their blind eyes can't see, their hearts are numb to realise he lives on, inside them. He became a part of them the day he befriended them, the moment he smiled at them, and the second he kissed their hearts with joy. He can live a life of memories and moments long ago, if he is forgotten then he truly is dead. Heart, body and soul.  
  
Rei's blue, dry lips tremble as she seeked to remember him, his gentile smile and nature. She has needed the love he was prepared to give only to throw it away on the back of an angel, Kaworu. But he too, had lost control and also lost Shinji's heart in the confusion and panic. The two losers of love, needing each other hating and loving. They have wanted love but has lost it and begun to hate.  
Hate   
Love  
Kaworu's lips wriggle with meaning and understanding, as they reach Rei's. They meet in a moment of silence and comfort. But this isn't a kiss with love or passion behind it, but wanting, needing. Believing the other is Shinji they caress and feel. Only to open their mistaken eyes and find each other once more in the sea of death.  
  
Hate   
Love  
  
Love  
Hate  
  
Mixing all into black and red, the two trapped together…forever-destined lives as angels of death, angels of mort and sorrow. Forever hating love and loving hate.  
Until these sickening colours turn to white, bone white.  
  
  
You hear the lapping of soft waves on a yellow beach. Shinji lifts his throbbing head, to find he is lonely on the sunny beach. Alone apart from the small sandcastle next to him. With it's sad flag with a single black rose on it flapping in the wind. He sits up slowly and painfully, as if awaking from the dead to finish the sandcastle. Build its proud turrets and strong drawbridge.   
He sat back to wonder at it, to find no one can appreciate it, no one to give him thanks. And that had been all he'd ever really wanted, ever since he learned he could never gain love.  
And as easily as it had been made, he destroyed it, symbolising his terror and misunderstanding. As the last grains settled among the shells, dead crabs and the torn flag did he notice a girl. Sleeping under the hull of a rotting boat creaking in a whispering wind.  
She is mumbling along with the wind, swirling and carrying her breath to Shinji. Who takes it in, to smell Asuka.  
  
She is sweat like he always remembered but had that tint of a mean evil character dwelling underneath. So he steals the chance to kiss her, like he's always wish he could. Simple and easy like licking the icing from a cake. But as he neared her did she stir, and Shinji became meek in the shadow of her. He grinds his teeth to his  
"I mustn't run away, I mustn't run away!"  
  
And he bends down, and her hair kisses his cheeks, but it is not her cheeks he wants to kiss but her soft supple lips. As he takes in her breath he plunges in to feel a new feeling trembling inside him.  
Love  
Fear  
Is it love, fear or to love the fear or fear the love.  
  
It's then her blue eyes flutter open and her lips mouth his name with sweat serenity,  
  
"Shinji.."  
  
And he closes his eyes again to her say it again. To adore him, and love him. But as he looks again, he finds his body wrapped in the soft quilts of a bed and that unfamiliar ceiling. It had been a dream of wonder and thoughts that would plague him for that remaining day.  
As his white toes tempted to tickle to frozen floor he falls head first down through the clouds to still be drifting in the dream.   
What are these visions? You see passion and fear, all of Shinji's love wilt and die in his hands, even sweat Rei. And as he plunges down he is caught by big hands destroying fear and pain. They are the purple hands of his Eva 01, his own Eva maybe his only true friend.   
Eva 00 and 02, their eyes burning malevolently in this dream world, also joins him. All three watching and protecting little Shinji.  
  
01's hands, scarred by countless battles from messengers from God begin to grasp Shinji's frail body, crushing him. This is a hug of pain and Ikari cries out, from shock and pulsing pain. To be thrown discarded to 02 who takes him in. Hiding from the evil shadows and frightful things life could scar him with, to suddenly loose grasp. Melt and burn until Shinji is left, with Eva 00.  
He has been hurt by love, cared for and then left only to be ignored by 00 as it turns its battery holding back and walk swiftly away.  
  
The pain swallows you up among this crystal tear of anguish and torture. To watch the second impact terrorism the world once more. People dyeing, screaming and crying for a saviour. Blood seeps from the wounds and cuts to leak into their eyes and mouths drowning them. The real Dead Sea is swirling inside the tiny crystal tear turning it red, like a rose tear. But it clears as wings blow the waves away, splashing up the sides and twisting to white. Like the angel wings that sprout from Rei's back.  
  
"Shinji," Rei uttered softly " I, am a clone of your mother Yui Ikari…"   
  
You hear choking, from deep within Shinji's throat rising to his mouth as he splutters disbelief. He reaches to her cold cheeks to tickle them with the shivering end of his pink fingers. These are no longer Ayanami but Ikari, his own. He glances into her eyes, red the colour of blood. They seemed to move, changing never once the same. Can these be the same eyes that once gazed at him when he was born? The same eyes that sung him to sleep, loved him and grew him? Was it the same mind inside, knowing knowledge and power of him and his father?  
  
"Do you, remember me?" he gasps  
  
And Rei answers him by taking his shivering body and enveloping it, taking his lips to hers and licking them with memories. Tempting his senses and feelings. Only to cast misunderstanding among the two, and Shinji breaks the kiss. To cough and choke. She wasn't his mother but crude and badly made copy by his cruel father.   
Gendo Ikari.  
  
Shinji pushes her away, her wings grasping at him, calling him to her. Knowing him, loving him in a way he couldn't and wouldn't understand or fathom. A mother would never do this, this fear and strangeness. And he began to whimper, and once more Rei was around him, like an unforgiving rash. Trying to push them back he shed tears of pain and torment forever following him in life. His weeping chilled the blue air and a tear fell from his cheek to be caught in your hand.  
  
It rolls around trying to escape your grasp and then to slowly slink into your palm to haunt you. Move you and be you.   
Evangelion has touched you in a way you can't understand the same way with this Crystal tear. The one you once again glance at, watching the never-ending patterns of sorrow and victory.   
  
I hope you have enjoyed this detailed description of my crystal tear, and I shall whip it away for now. For when you encounter a moment in you life that moves you, it shall be incased in your own, shining crystal tear. And them maybe sometime you can share it with me like I have shared mine with you.  
  
  
  
Until them, may you forever be the holder of the unforgiving   
  
Crystal tear.  
  



End file.
